Many of us will agree to the first statement that indeed no man on earth has the power to make you or break you, because it is only God and what He says through His word has that power. As much as many of us would agree to that, the next question to ask is if you have managed a week without being affected by something someone else said or did not say ?
Lets consider some scenarios:
Your spouse or fiance did not say something you wanted to hear perhaps?
Your boss did not appreciate you for your work perhaps?
Somebody in church said something about you that you did not appreciate ?
Somebody in the train or the metro you cut you off and took your seat?
Somebody you texted on whatsapp or facebook did not reply to you as and when you expected but you know they saw your text ?
Your friend/friends from school times did not treat you well ?
These were couple of scenarios for us to think of from our daily lives. So although you could agree to something like this statement “no one having the power to make or break you” you would have still found that in daily life you have given that power to people whoever that may be. Where then is the problem, friend ? Answer is you are placing expectations on people which puts them in a position to fail and you get lifted or broken accordingly. Do you think this was the life Jesus lived or lives ?
When you place expectations on people what you are saying is how they treat or do not treat you is going to be the lord over your life. But only Jesus needs to be the Lord over your life, isn’t it? People can or cannot fail but why should that determine how you live, behave or even think ? For example, as a wife you may expect your husband to say he loves you often or speaks to you a certain way. So the day he does that you are happy, but the day he does not you go down and get frustrated with him. SO do you see that when you place expectation on another person you are setting them up to fail and letting them know that they have the major responsibility over how you ought to feel? That is a lot of pressure to place on another individual, friends. Gospel does not call you to do that.
We are called to love one another not expect from one another. So how can you expect from someone you are called to love ? God says very clearly that we are to love one another. He also says that we owe no man anything but to love. We are called to give that love to others. So we are to take that responsibility upon ourselves and because of the relationship with Jesus it is easy. He did not create us to expect from one another but to love one another. Every person in a community is to give out love to the others and there is never a loop backwards in the sense of needing it to make or break you.
One of the most negative effects of placing expectations on others is when you look at a person who has failed you couple of times before, the next time you see that person all you remember about him or her is how he or she failed you. Is that fair if it was you ? We are never to consider one another according to the flesh. We have been called to see one another only through His eyes and our created value. Anything less than that is us stealing the honor of that person.
This is one of the crucial aspects in the Body of Christ at large that needs to change. We need to learn to see one another only the way He sees us and we need to learn to be dictated by what He says about us and no one else. Consider the transformation in this area with the help of Holy Spirit!