The Christian life is not about you getting more blessed, its not about what God can do for you, its about how God can make you more like Him. Its about you yielding and working of grace through the person of Holy Spirit where God takes your heart and fashions it and makes a brand new heart like His. It about you becoming love. It about you taking on the nature of love through the person hood of Holy Spirit so that you can die to everything you were so that you can live to everything He is.
You have to start where Jesus finished. You have to take on what He has caused you to become. We live with regret when we find ourselves walking in flesh but that’s the world way which doesn’t produce life. Rather let godly sorrow move you to change things from this moment on as one can never go back in time and change what one did but what he does after realizing definitely can change. For understanding of truth you are encouraged to listen to this teaching by Dan Mohler.